There are empty chairs and empty tables in my heart, in my life, and in my home. It happens! Death is a reality! Death is, in a very real sense, our shared destiny. As a parish pastor for over 50-plus years I have sat with families as they experienced this reality. I have officiated at hundreds of funerals! I have personal experience: the deaths of cherished friends, grandparents, parents, in-laws, my sister, my wife of fifty-seven years (four years ago) and most recently my fifty-seven year old daughter, Rachel. The scripture boasts, “O Death, where is thy sting?” Well, I can assure you, it has not lost its sting! When Death comes to those we love, and even to those we do not know, it affects us.
No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less,
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manor of thine own
Or of thine friend’s were.
Each man’s death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.
Somehow, as John Donne says, the death of any person “diminishes me.” If this is so, then what happens when it is someone we know, love, and cherish? We are “reduced, depleted, downsized, dented, knocked down, modified, shrunk, and compressed.” That's what "diminish" means.
Do not suggest to anyone enduring grief that Death has no sting to it! And those who are grieving should not attempt to cover up the sting!
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