Helplessness

When life tumbles in on us we feel helpless.  There is not a thing we can do to change what is. Things happen.  There is nothing we can do about it.  We can’t solve the problem.  It is beyond our control.  We can’t change the situation.  It is what it is.  We want so much to “do” something, but we don’t know what that “something” is.  When such  helplessness comes we can’t think on our feet any more.  We can’t find any solution to make things better.  We can’t reduce or change the grip of whatever it is that has created this overwhelming sense of helplessness.  We can’t do a damn thing!  “Have faith,” someone says.  “Prayer works,” says another.  Do they mean that faith and prayer will alleviate life tumbling in?  Or do they mean it will relieve my helplessness?  I may have faith enough to move mountains and change the tide of the sea, but that does solve my helplessness.  I may pray unceasingly, but I still feel helpless in it all.

Julian of Norwich wrote, “He said not, ‘Thou shalt not be tempested.  Thou shalt not be travailed.  Thou shalt not be afflicted.”  But He said, ‘Thou shalt not be overcome.’”  Jesus told his disciples: “In the world you will have trouble, but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”  How so?  I remember the words of an Irish song, “You may cross the barren desert, but you shall not die of thirst, you shall wander far in safety though you do not know the way…If you pass through raging waters in the sea you will not drown. If you walk among the burning flames you shall not be harmed…know that I am with you through it all.” I understand this to mean that I must accept “Life tumbling in” and I must acknowledge my helplessness in it.

In the words of E.E. Cummings,  I hear, in my helplessness, that I (and you, and all) are being carried, even in the midst of all that we cannot change, cannot solve, cannot do a damn thing about.  Helplessness is part and parcel of our human existence and an essential part of our faith, but even in this we are carried in the Heart of Love—the Love at the Heart of things (even that thing called helplessness).

 “here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud

and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows

higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)