The Victim Game

Have you ever played the game of victim?  We have all played the game at one time or another.    Victim-playing is the fabrication of victimhood in order to manipulate others or justify one’s self.  Sometimes it is just simply a means of getting everybody’s attention.  It typically involves feeling put upon by others, whether real or imagined.  It includes paranoia: “Certain people are out to get us.”  Paranoia leads to the defense mechanism of psychological projection:  a kind of blame-shifting.  “It certainly isn’t my doing—it isn’t my fault. It is the doing of all those others out there and I know who those people are.”  This leads inevitably to dehumanizing, shifting attention from one’s own bad behavior as necessary based on the bad behavior of others.  This provides justification for the victim—“poor me,”—to deflect and evade the criticism of others.  It elicits sympathy and is used often by manipulators, who say  (Eric Berne, “Games People Play”) “Look How Hard I’ve Tried.” The victim card is a primary strategy of the narcissist who uses the game to assert control and to create divisions where some people are favored and others are scapegoated.

The game is being played now as indicated by the following excerpt from a FB post:  “I have lived through many United States Presidents prior to our current President Trump. In my lifetime I have never seen or heard of a President being scrutinized over every word he speaks, demeaned by the public to the point of disgrace, slandered, ridiculed, insulted, lied to, threatened with death,…” Mr. Trump is seen here as a victim and therefore his supporters feel themselves to be victims.  Playing the victim card is a dangerous game, full of boomerangs.

History tells us that every U.S. president has been “scrutinized over every word he speaks, demeaned by the public to the point of disgrace, slandered, ridiculed, insulted…” yes, and even “threatened with death,” and a few were shot at and several were assassinated.  

Don’t play the victim game.  It is a fabrication to justify the abuse of others, to manipulate, to control, to divide, to dehumanize, and to get attention.  Oh, the Games People Play.