My Paternal Bonds

Today is Father’s Day.  It is a celebration of fatherhood, of paternal bonds we have known beyond the immediate family connection, and the influence fathers have had upon our personal  life and society.  According to some accounts, Father’s Day in the United States got its start from a memorial service held for a large group of men who died in a mining accident in Monongah, West Virginia in 1907.  A national Father’s Day was first proposed, according to other sources, by Sonora Dodd of Spokane, Washington in 1909. 

I am a father of three children.  I know that I have been “like a father” to a few others along the way for they have told me so.  Much of what I know about fatherhood was derived from my own father and my paternal grandfather and maternal grandfather.  I cannot remember my great-grandfathers.  My Dad, my grandpa and my grandad are now gone from my life, but their influence lingers on.  They taught me a lot about what being a father means.  But they weren’t the only “father figures” in my life.  There were so many other men  who influenced me.   There was Willie “at the garage” who helped me fix my bike, took me fishing and swimming, and provided tools and paint for “go-carts” I tried to create.  There was “Julie,” a single fellow, no wife, no children, and yet was “father-like” to me in so many ways.  There was “Churchill” who always lifted me up and “Jim, the mailman,” who made me feel like a “winner.”  There were many “fathers” in my life and I am grateful for each of them and for what they taught me about being a father.  It seems most appropriate to me that Father’s Day may have gotten its start from “a memorial service held for a large group of men”—for the “fathers” I celebrate and honor today were a large group.

Whenever I hear John McDermott sing “The Old Man” the tears begin to flow—tears of gratitude not just for my Dad, Grandpa, and Grandad, though I loved them dearly—but also for the paternal bonds that linked me to Willie’s, Julie’s, Churchill’s, and Jim’s.  My version of the song includes all “The Old Men” who were and are still my fathers:

The tears should have all been shed now 

We’ve said our last goodbyes

Their souls blessed

They’re laid to rest

And now I feel alone.

They were more than just like fathers

They were teachers, my best friends

They can still be heard

In the tunes of life we shared

As I live my life alone.

I never will forget them

For they made me "what and who I am"

Though they may be gone

Memories linger on

And I miss them, my old men

Tha's me in Mother's arms--and the
family of three would grow to be seven in all!