Affirmation

“Good to see you,” I would say to her as she left the church after worship each Sunday.  Her response was always, “It is always good to be seen.”  On occasion I would say to her, “I was thinking of you the other day,” and she would respond, “It is always nice to be thought about.”  This woman’s responses came back to me as I read the following story this morning:

Eric Hoffer tells about a Bavarian peasant woman who cared for him after his mother died and during the years that he was blind:  “And this woman, this Martha took care of me.  She was a big woman, with a small head.  And this woman, this Martha, must have really loved me, because those eight years of blindness are in my mind as a happy time.  I remember a lot of talk and laughter.  I must have talked a great deal, because Martha used to say again and again, ‘You remember you said this, you remember you said that…’  Martha remembered everything I said, and all my life I’ve had the feeling that what I think and what I say are worth remembering.  She gave me that”  (Elizabeth O’Conner, Eighth Day of Creation).  Martha’s “remembering” was an affirmation.  To think of another,  to really see another, to remember what he or she has said, is to say, “YES,” to their existence and their worth as a person.

Often we tell our children (and others, too) what they should do and what they should become, instead of paying attention to the hints and signs they give us of the way they must go.  It is not our way—it is their unique way—a way that only they can discover for themselves.  Our task is to avoid putting stumbling blocks in their way and to help them, however we can, to fulfill their destiny.  It helps to let others know that you “see” them, “think” of them, and “remember” the things they have said.